Belated New Year's Resolution

Yet another sleepless night. Noises seem to be magnified and try as I might to drown them out with my iPod the noises seem to wheedle their way into my brain and I can’t shut them out. So why not blog?

Here it is February and I haven’t committed in writing my New Year’s resolution(s). I have found a student to tutor in math for $25 per hour. Nice guy. He has ADHD and Dyslexia but it doesn’t seem to hinder him in math. He’s super polite and calls me “sir” all the time–it make me feel older somehow. But I guess that’s just how he was raised. I can deal with that. So finding a job could be checked off but I need to make about twice what I’m making with him to pay for my doctor’s visits and prescriptions. I guess I’ll send some fliers to class with him and go introduce myself to his professor and let him know I’m available.

I haven’t been very religious about going to the gym because working out alone is lonely and weird. But I have to do it to lose weight and regain some of my lost strength and stamina and avoid the potential for diabetes or worse.

Because of some of the things President Obama said in his inaugural speech I am more motivated to become involved in life and society again as a participating member. My financial state is also a big motivator. I broke down, bucked up and finally sent my information to the Texas Board of Education for certification as a teacher. I have been telling everyone how much I miss it so now I’m in the works to go do it. Worst that will happen is I’ll have to take two examinations one on teaching practices and one on mathematics. The one that worries me is the teaching practices exam because all of the catch phrases have changed since I first started teaching and I’m afraid it’ll be like reading Sanskrit. I also had my fingerprints taken again. I hope they don’t come back matching some axe murderer's!

Anyway, if all goes well, I might be able to return to teaching high school soon. I really have missed the drama and rotten behavior. I’ve missed the human contact with students and other teachers. There are still things I don’t like about it: paperwork, Nazi-like administrators, and parents who think they know better how to teach their kids but those things go with the job and are endured.

When I’m teaching I feel like I am making a difference in the world; one kid at a time. There are little life lessons to be passed on to each generation outside the math curriculum like playing fair, being nice to each other, and accepting differences. Teaching gives me the opportunity to change lives and society in a small way. It makes me feel useful and important. These I miss most of all.

I desperately want to get back into being creative and seeing the lights go on in the faces of kids who thought they couldn’t learn math. That’s what I’m best at. It’s why I call teaching "my calling". It’s what I do best and what I love to do. So , if all goes well with my certification, I may be able to start before the end of the year part-time and get on full time next year. That’s my resolution.

Being home on disability for three years has been depressing, lonely, and boring. I can’t stand to be bored. I’m never bored when I’m teaching. Another plus is that even in the worst economic depression there's always a need for teachers.